He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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