just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
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I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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