why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
