you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he puts the penis in happiness.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
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A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Watching her eat just hurts me
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Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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