i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
