how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
