You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
