i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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