maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
whose parrot is this?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
