apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I touched a dick in church today
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
