Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize