i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
