I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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