I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
