Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
