I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
