I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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