Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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