I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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