Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
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