Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
