just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
