Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
