Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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