i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
