Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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