i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
