Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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