he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
