So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
