ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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