So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
