mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
