didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
