I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
