Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
