Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
