He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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