when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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