I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
