You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
