ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
