Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
