And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
