So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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