'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize