Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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