Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
