At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
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Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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