when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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