So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
