Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I did not marry a roomba.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
