I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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