She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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