Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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