I think im going to throw up on grandma
I feel great
I just peed on a car
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
