u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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