I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
