I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
