i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
