i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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