Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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