New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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