PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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