Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
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He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
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we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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