um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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