I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
